Do Good Design

For the past 3 months, I’ve been on a strict anti-candida diet: no dairy, wheat, sugar, alcohol or fruit. I did this crazy thing for my health, to get rid of ailments ranging from achy joints to random attacks of moodiness and lethargy.

As I mentioned in my initial post on Day 18 of the diet, it was surprisingly easy to do. Really. I think going all the way like that was actually less of a hassle than trying a bit here and there, and the rewards were mercifully quick to show up, keeping me motivated.

I’ve really enjoyed all the benefits these past few months, from more energy to better skin to losing 20 pounds to pain-free joints. It’s one of the few times in my life I’ve actually stuck to something, and each day I stay on the wagon, I’m proud.

but it ain’t a picnic anymore

I’m in the home stretch now, and every day, right around 4pm, the longing for sugar strikes. I’m battling the same demons I was 3 months ago before I started.

The plan is to do this diet until all my symptoms have virtually disappeared, then keep it up for a whole year afterwards.

I’ve reached the point where the symptoms should start disappearing in earnest, but every day feels like a week, and it’s getting harder and harder to stick with the diet. I’m bored with the foods, irritated that I can’t bend the rules, unbelievably annoyed that my husband Malcolm effortlessly avoids all sweets and sugars and has done for years.

A black cloud of sullen irritability descends. Why can’t I have just one little piece of chocolate, hm? Or some apple juice? Surely that can’t be too bad.

the almost sugar-free, wheat-free chocolate cake

It’s just so tempting to give in and stretch things a bit, massage the rules. The latest enticing demon to show up: the Sugar-free, Wheat-free Chocolate Cake recipe that my stepmother kindly made me for my birthday.

The problem is, the “sugar-free” part isn’t exactly true — the recipe requires 226 grams (1/2 pound) of semi-sweet chocolate, which actually means 33 grams of sugar if I use the 85% dark chocolate I bought. But it’s so goooood. Like a torte or dense cheesecake.

the sugar addiction

But Erica White, nutritionist and author of “Beat Candida: The 4 Point Plan”, is very clear about sticking to her strict diet. Every time you lapse, it’ll take that much longer to get well. Every time you eat sugar, you’re feeding the disease that could one day kill you.

I also met so many people in the US who cheerfully discussed having battled candida for years, as if it’s just something you live with, like the common cold. None of them were following this strict a diet, which is why, sigh, I know what the right thing to do is if I’m going to get completely well.

following my instincts underneath the craving

As I write this I realize I’m really just whining, casting about for some expert to tell me it’s okay to eat what my body is screaming it needs. That’s the sugar addiction talking.

As in so many other areas of my life, I’m learning to listen to myself, to wade past the advertising junk and even the insidious voice in my own head that coaxes me to go places I know I shouldn’t go.

Take it one day at a time, as alcoholics say. Today: no sugar. But it looks like the grumpiness is here to stay for a while.